09 April 2014

Haircare: Who Cares?

Hairstyling is a chore. What products should you use? How can you fend off frizz? How should you style your coif? Even choosing a hairbrush is a tedious task.

Vented brushes, purse brushes, round brushes flat brushes...

(On second thought, maybe this choice is easier than I'm letting on.)

So you've got your brush. Now it's time to figure out what to do with your hair. You try two or three styles before succumbing to the fact that your hair rules you and not the other way around. 

Hell, just throw on a hat. 

08 April 2014


In the world of woodworking, there are complex, intricate designs...

(A composition entitled "Twigs and One Inflamed Berry" or "Whittlin' the Day Away")

And then there are simple projects for simpler minds...

07 April 2014

Arms or No Arms?

Which is creepier...

A. An armless bear encouraging hugs? (Though perhaps it's just sad irony.)

B. A bookend of an armed clown? (Can't sleep; clown will eat me.)

You be the judge.

06 April 2014

What the gourd?

I've been to my share of craft fairs and church bazaars. Old ladies cling to their steel change drawers and delusions of creative talent, peddling pompom atrocities and popsicle-stick terrors.

But you don't truly know crafting "magic" until you've tasted the gourd.

And now for a closer look at that skillful gourd artistry:

05 April 2014

I was in the midst of a monologue when suddenly a photo appeared.

I feel as if my best outlet when I'm feeling creative but don't want to draw attention to myself as I express my imaginative talents is blogging. So. Here. I. Am.
I realize that it would be preferable to have a blogger ("Indecision favors "bloggist" but that'll never catch on," comments the Critic.) who is here for the pure joy of blogging...but you'll have to take what I can offer you.
That being said, here some Bloggist Gold!

"Wait, wait, wait!" squeals Indecision.
"Hold on; wait for me!" Dependence demands (a minute too late and a dollar too short).

Please excuse my break from the acceptable genre there. I got a bit novelistic without meaning to. the intent to do so.
There she is, the window shopper with a hypercritical eye. Yes, that's right, folks! It's Mrs. Window Shopper!
I'm going to seek stimulation outside of my photo albums today and check out The Literary Gift Company. Shop with me!

I need these.
I need the e's.
I kneed these.
I knead the ease.

04 April 2014

Not half bad.

If you thought yesterday was funny, wait until you check out today's post!
(If you thought yesterday was trying too hard, today can't be any worse.)

I initially took a photo of this shelf because of the oh-so-appropriately-placed A Second-Hand Life. I tried to resist its perfect placement (that is, in a second-hand store) and left the store that first day, only to return a few days later to find it still waiting for me. The story was disappointing, not because the story was bad but because the author had been stretching for a really worthwhile overarching theme but it never really came to completion. (See also, the menage a trois tension in Thor: The Dark World.)

But now I find my eyes drawn to the amusing titles on the right side of the frame:

Mom, The Wolf Man, and Me

  • Mom's new boyfriend should really consider polishing his grooming skills. Maybe a pet groomer could give him some tips.
Women on Women 3 
  • The third installment of this series or are there three women involved in this scenario?
[...followed immediately by]

A Woman of Freedom and the King of the Wind

03 April 2014

Relationship Advice: How to Handle Younger Humans

I regret that I don't have a better photo of this shelf. Looks like I will have to narrate the tableau for you...

Damn, how I loathe to do that.


Be Mature: Childproof Your Home!
  • I mean, this just makes sense. Spend the money and get those outlet covers and cabinet locks because after you spent nine months carrying this creature in your womb and after you spent all your savings on diapers and formula and what have you, you can't imagine the thought of letting your investment kill itself by jamming fingers and toys into electrical outlets or tasting bleach for the first (and last) time.

A Student's Guide to Julius Caesar [and his] Desire of Ages: Boys!
  • If you look closely, you can see the subtitle of the book has something to do with "shaping" boys in some way. Definitely something Julius Caesar was into.

02 April 2014

Below this title line, you'll find a game. (It's not Monopoly.)

Autobiographies are great if you're looking to be inspired or if you've got a report to write for class. But it takes a little more than a decent voice and a creepy smile (not to mention a ghostwriter) for me to pick up your biography for FUN.

Enter Marie Osmond and Clay Aiken.

Look a little deeper and you'll find a matching game. Tell me, readers:

Which of these two "singers" is the Sociopathic Social-Climber and which The Mad Fisherman?

01 April 2014

One of my hands is great at hand tricks. The other one is always fooled.

This picture is from my old cell phone, so the picture is a little more...rustic in resolution.

Looking for Easy Hand Tricks? My favorite involves The Four Fingers of Death. I mean, there are literally billions of people on the planet; what's one less grain of sand on a beach?

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