Hodge Podge [sic]

Consider this a Whitman's Sampler (my Valentine's gift to you, Sweetcheeks). It's got delicious caramel-filled chocolates and a few with a hints of hazelnut, vanilla, or peanut butter. But every few bites, you're bound to come across a molasses monstrosity that effectively glues your jaw shut. We begin with one such disappointment:

F-A-I-L is so much easier to spell.

...So's Austria, but if you think that's the point with this tee, you need to go back to your spelling lesson. Mad props on this one, though it was not nearly fitted enough to add to my closet (though it probably would have been the perfect fit for Ahnold).

I'm sure Soccer Mom was happy this atrocity wasn't permanent. FYI, the only Courgar I could find online was a certain John Courgar, who is currently a senior at Pima Community College and is -- according to his meager LinkedIn profile -- studying in Pima's "Academy of Chinese and Health Sciences" (acupuncture?).

Moving on to a tastier treat...

This find really just allowed me to indulge in some needless Googling. I approve of this, this, and especially this.

We finish off today with some questionable punctuation. Does Barney love a girl whose real name is too sacred to be shared -- thus the pseudonym "Brandi"? Does the purple people eater dinosaur really like the word "Brandi"? And what the hell is going on with all the tildes?!?!?

In a related story, a coworker's written commendation to another read:

Thank you "Andrew" for your "huge" help.

The first set of punctuation seems to mock the name, but the second? "Huge" might indicate an inside joke between friends or perhaps a scorned lover's jab at his "little" man... 

Surely that wasn't intended...????