Zombified Emily exhibits subpar reading level

Work was mind-numbing and I am more in the mood to listen to loud music and seek out new job prospects than to muse about stupid stuff I found on my last shopping escapade...but I guess I should find others' example and (rather than spend the day at home grilling out with friends and family) spend time looking at crap, encouraging money-hungry stores to stay open and keep their employees from enjoying Labor Day themselves.

Why yes, I am a little bitter!

Here comes...random photo from the gallery:

 

Actual book blurb:

Jack and Annie are ready for their next adventure in the New York Times bestselling middle-grade series—the Magic Tree House!

Are you ready for a presidential adventure?

Jack and Annie are! They are trying to get a special feather that will help save Merlin’s baby penguin, Penny. When the magic tree house whisks them back to Washington, D.C., in 1861, Jack can’t wait to meet Abraham Lincoln himself! But the new president is too busy to see them, as he is desperately trying to save a nation in crisis.

When Jack and Annie ask for some magical help, they go back even further in time to a mysterious woods. Are these the same woods where Abraham Lincoln takes his daily horse ride? If so, can an orphan named Sam help them find Abe? Or will Jack and Annie have to help Sam instead?

It’s a race against time as Jack and Annie try to do the right thing. Plus, they still have to aid a president and a troubled nation, as well as get the object that will save Penny the penguin!

A few thoughts:

• More occurs in this blurb than in the entirety of Twilight.
• Since when did Merlin have a penguin? And why can't he just heal the thing himself rather than resorting to child labor?
• Since when was Merlin occupying the present-day that he could send kids BACK in time?
• Why is it a "race against time" if Jack & Annie are time-travelers?
• What is "the right thing" that Jack & Annie are trying to do?

The answers to all these questions (and more!) can be yours if you read this book! (Would LeVar Burton approve?) ...Though some of the other titles from the Magic Tree House series sound super exciting too! Where to start?



SPOILER ALERT!

Afternoon on the Amazon: Jack and Annie search the rainforest for a second magical object...which turns out to be a mango.

Sunset of the Sabertooth reveals the third magical object: "a mammoth bone flute".

In Blizzard of the Blue Moon, Jack and Annie travel to NYC during the Great Depression. They must help a unicorn under a spell. [As nothing else was going on during this time that required their assistance.]

In Eve of the Emperor Penguin, Jack and Annie go to Antarctica to try to find their last secret of happiness...but they only find penguins.

In A Ghost Tale for Christmastime, the kids are thrown in jail, only to be saved by Charles Dickens! To find Charles' secret, they will need help from three ghosts and get to know Charles very, very, [very, very, very, very, very] well. 




I should probably mention that these synopses were found on the ever-reliable Wikipedia.

...Finding it a bit difficult to come to terms with the fact that I just spent 30 minutes researching a series of children's books.