Power of Seduction

It's been a great night. From the moment she stepped into that overpriced Italian restaurant for your date, you could feel a desire to eat breakfast together stirring in your loins. Her infectious smile and silky voice only cemented that desire into an aching need.

But you can't count on scrambled-eggs-for-two; truth be told, you want her because she is not guaranteed. She's a strong, intelligent woman with high standards and there's no telling if you can hold in your idiosyncracies long enough to close the deal.

So when she slips away to "freshen up" in your bathroom, you quickly thumb through your guide to seduction.

Sliding this one on and off the shelf feels a little dirty. 

You're confident that by the end of the night you'll be engaged in illicit activities.

But you realize there are a few steps between now and then. Perhaps you should start with a massage?

Best review the chapter on massage techniques first. (Claude Serre)

Spine Reading

You might say I'm a bit of a reader. (Though, full disclosure: I was a couple books shy of my 40-book goal for last year.)

I'm not picky -- I read billboards on road trips, storefronts in town, realtor mailers featuring the inexplicably popular fist-under-the-chin pose, etc. And when I'm near a bookshelf, you best believe I'm going to peruse the titles.

Hilarity often ensues.

So big it's 72pt.

Sauntering through shelves of books, I discover a strange juxtaposition of elements.

An authority on fiction.

And seemingly-significant adjacencies.

Bake poetry at 350°F.

Other times, it's a blend of confusion and intrigue:

Probes & Prayers.

But all too soon, my waltz through the words is over.

[Insert pause here.]

My attention quickly returns to my appetite.

Om nom nom. Repeat as necessary.

Baking...Little Boys

Won a game of Hearts last night, lost Spades by 120 points, and was the first to go out on Magic: The Gathering but it was a good night with good people (except for that Shaun; he's terrible). Moving on to self-amusement (anything more is just a bonus):

I was a bit shocked to find that this cookbook required a 120/240V oven. I was hoping for some new recipes I could try out at my hearthstone. I guess I'll just stick to charring marshmallows over the campfire and frying eggs on the sidewalk...

Speaking of non sequiturs...

"God made hugs, smiles and little boys" ... but the devil made dem hoes.

(Still trying to find the second piece of nursery art in this collection, I might add.)

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