Organ Joke

I should probably go ahead and let you know that my mind lives in the gutter. I attempted to prevent my brain water from draining into the sewer by focusing on academic pursuits, but this method only accelerated the growth of this part of my persona. (Biochemistry taught me the mechanics; English introduced me to new ways of extolling the act.) So skip this post if your prudery requires it, or stick around and laugh with the immature girl inside my head.

Among the racks of vinyls at your local thrift store, you'll find an assortment of penis jokes. (Unless some mysterious stranger cleans house before you get there -- church organist, perhaps?) I bring you a couple of my finds from Kokomo, Indiana.

Yes, there is actually a Kokomo in the contiguous United States. (Two in fact; the other's in Mississippi.) It's not nearly as exciting as the Beach Boys make it out to be, as I visited Goodwill three times in the span of two days while visiting family. I also saw lots of cornfields and very few hills.

(Interesting intersection of post and tangent: there are TWO organs in my parents' house in Kokomo. My mom has picked them up on thrifting trips of her own and I think we're all concerned with where she'll put the next one when she chooses to expand her collection. Okay, that's definitely enough discussion of organs when my parents are involved.)

Great Organ Hits sounds painful awesome. The album art guarantees that you'll be seeing stars hitting repeat after encountering Eddie Layton's penis instrument (It's "OUT OF THIS WORLD"!). Songs include: "Ain't Misbehavin'", "The Happy Organ", "The Dipsy Doodle" (which is most definitely NOT an entry from this book), and "When the Organ Played at Twilight". Check out the full cover on Amazon (link above) for a lesson on overcompensating.

Dear John Kiley, It's not the size of the organ but the technique used when tickling its keys (take a lesson from Eddie Layton). John Kiley Plays Big Pipe Organ feature greats like "If I Loved You", "This Can't Be Love", and "Button up Your Overcoat" (song titles that suggest Mr. K is no stranger to organ solos).

No picture, but I also found "Historical Organs of Italy" and couldn't help but think of Ezio. I realize he's a fictional character but he got a lot of action on the XBOX...