At Home with Bernie and Ert

My brother's lady, Lauren, just gave birth to the first in the Palmer basic family unit (there has to be a less impersonal way to convey that idea). I'm super excited to have a nephew and super anxious to get to know him. The excitement and estrogen have heightened my senses and my radar picks up on anything remotely child-related. I recently found a kid's music album in the vinyl stacks the other day:

My first instinct was to reminisce over days gone by and to ponder a love for Sesame Street that is with me still. Then my innocence suddenly abandoned me and Ernie and Bert were a gay-and-proud couple singing together. I flipped the album over and perused the songs etched into the vinyl:

Side One
1. "Life without Bert"
Ernie (I can only assume) explores an alternative universe in which he hasn't met his soulmate, Bert. (Less butt sex.)

2. "La, La, La"
Someone's cheerful. 

3. "The Electric Fan"
Lyrics include "I sound like Darth Vader when I talk into it" and "I could use a folding fan instead, but my wrist is kinda tired".

4. "Everybody Wash"
Because personal hygiene is very important.

5. "Fish in Cowboy Hat"
I don't seem to know that sexual position.

6. "Ernie Puts the Vase Away"
Well, of course I know THAT sexual position.

7. "Ring around Rosie"
In the words of Bert, "Because if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it."

Side Two gives the account of their domestic relationship outside of the bedroom. It includes the masturbatory "Ernie Plays His Drums" and the explanatory "Bert is Sick" (or has a headache or is "just not in the mood" perhaps) but the rest is pretty tame.

Too tame for this "cutting-edge" blog whose author is here almost as often as she's not. (I am so self-deprecating it's sad.)

Enjoy your travels and drop me a line sometime. I'd like to chat with you (though I apparently would rather not make the initial effort to establish contact).