If Eminem can do it, so can I. I'll be cleaning out my closet of photos today. Today's grab bag is devoid of knick-knacks, so enjoy four t-shirts for the price of one. (A $0 VALUE!) They appear to be only mildly entertaining, so let's see if I can spice things up with my delivery (free with purchase of $15).
First up, this cotton blend spits truth (which, curiously enough, tastes just like pineapple).
I have yet to see this generation's version, but Justin Bieber is putting out new "swag" all the time so I'll keep my eyes open.
Next up, check out a new landscaping option:
Sure, rubber mulch would be easier to install and more forgiving of face-plants and the like, but it takes a lot of time and energy to remove the metal rims and spokes and then shred the rubber into little pieces. Ain't nobody got time for that (I will refrain from linking to the meme, but you can look it up on your own time).
In other news: There's no need to be afraid of the hiking trail when your shoe salesman is a deity.
- Comma splice
Leave the forgiveness to Jesus; I'm pretty sure that God would be the top Grammar Nazi, raining fiery retribution down on those who break His laws.
(I'm not calling God Hitler, but if the OT deity should decide to shave his "customary" beard and mustache into a Hitler-stache, it wouldn't be completely inappropriate.) - ALL CAPS
I mean, it's not as if this shirt was etched into a stone tablet, making lowercase characters a pain in the ass to execute. - Communication through T-shirtAbout as likely as salvation through text message.
- Hyphenated signatureGiven that the Big Guy devoted an entire book (and then some) to ceremonial details, prescriptions, and prohibitions...pretty sure He's going to pull out something a bit more formal than a friggin' hyphen to end his book. I mean, he did end His most influential work (His entries to the Babysitters' Club series were not well-received) with Revelations after all.
Do we really think God's athletic endorsement would be for pink and white shell-toe Adidas lookalikes? I understand that lace-up leather sandals aren't really built for modern exercise, but neither are these.
One more...and this one makes even less sense than the others.
I did a little research and learned that "avodah" is a Jewish word meaning "work" (start here and move on to more legitimate sources if your interest exceeds my own). It's also the name of the Jewish Service Corps which fights "against the causes and effects of poverty in the United States".
So now I understand the "anti-swine" bit (though the preceding article is still a bit perplexing). When I searched for "bleach" on the AVODAH page, I yielded no results. "Anti-swine" returned 3 pages, due to my inability to limit the results to EXACT MATCH. My revised search for "swine" brought back a goose egg.
In other news, 2009 saw the spread of the swine flu, and experts advised the use of chlorine bleach to combat the threat.
Still, while I can explain elements of this shirt, I am at a loss to put them all together. Perhaps the Jewish service group armed themselves with bleach and sprayed it in poverty-stricken neighborhoods? I am officially thinking too hard which is a sure sign that it's time to turn my mind to other pursuits.
Enjoy your weekend.
Cheryl:
Here are your rejected anagrams. I regret to report that the options were pretty limited.
BRR, A CHILLY LED.
ALL BRED RICHLY
Fun fact: A Google search for "anagram" returns "Did you mean nag a ram?" Well done, Google. And yes, I most definitely did intend to search for ram nagging.
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There once was a woman who lived in a shoe.