30 June 2013

Papa's Got a Brand New Grab Bag

You seem to have happened upon a grab bag. This particular grab bag has been sitting on a drugstore shelf for a few weeks without attracting notice. (Aside from that crazy cat lady to visits every other day to stock up on catnip and B-12 supplements. She decided to grab cat litter instead of the grab bag 9 out of 10 times. The 9th time she entered the store, she was clearly rabid and was booted from the store before she could put her wrinkly fingers on the bag.)

Let's forget about the cat lady for a moment and enter a mind with its own blend of crazy: my own.


Why limit your broken resolutions to one month of the year; magazines out now are obsessed with getting your life into order by adding more paper to the pile.

(My hoarder personality is a mix of Miss Papyrus and Miss Procraftinate. What's yours?)

What makes this particular issue of Real Simple any different from the thousands of others out there? Unfortunately, nothing. What caught my attention was my first attempt at reading the bold headline on the cover..."Indigenous Organizing Systems". Which I could only imagine was an anthropological survey of the organizing methods around the globe, from feng shui to culturally-acceptable variants of O.C.D. to whatever method they use in third-world countries to keep possessions from overwhelming their possessors (I believe they call it "poverty"). Needless to say, anthropology is not simple enough to qualify for this magazine.

Onward, ho!


Found this van in Woodstock, a town whose inhabitants range from rednecks who proclaim their demographic proudly with confederate flags and mud flaps to rednecks who attempt to hide from their true identity behind manicured lawns, trophy wives, and HOA fees. I'm not sure which category F.E. Arnold's 'Lectrical Contractin' company belongs to...

One more. Behold Pepperidge Farm's support of those hungering for brains.

Arrgh. Cheesy brains!


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